


The Haiku Hex

by DearlyStar



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abstract, Bad Poetry, Concept piece, Gen, Haiku, Hilarious, Humor, Jokes, Marauders, Pranks and Practical Jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-01
Updated: 2015-07-01
Packaged: 2018-04-07 04:58:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4250235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DearlyStar/pseuds/DearlyStar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"What lesson have we learned?<br/>make Remus speak in verse,<br/>he will make you pay."</p><p>This collection of haiku are taken from a time when Sirius and James hit Remus with a hex that only allows him to speak in haiku for the rest of the week. Only the poems are seen here, leaving you to draw your own conclusions about what may or may not be happening. Enjoy!</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Haiku Hex

**Author's Note:**

> Credit for one of these goes to my fabulous Potternerd friends, Brandy. The rest are all me, and caused us no end of giggles. hope you enjoy!

"James and Sirius  
are the best pranksters ever.  
Except when they aren't."

"Look what you've done  
you stupid dog. You've eaten  
my homework, moron."

"You stupid git, James,  
why would you put socks on the  
suits of armor? Sigh."

"What is going on?!  
What sort of spell has done this?  
_This_ took five minutes?!"

"Wormtail, the next time  
you feel the urge to vomit:  
not in my potion."

"Really, James Potter,  
superfluous fart noises  
are not wanted here."

"There is a snitch here.  
Now the snitch is over there.  
I WILL smack you, James."

"Sirius, don't you  
dare use bubotuber pus  
on that second year."  
  
"Why on earth are you  
running from McGonagall?  
Oh. I see why now."

"This hex is very  
annoying. I really can't  
stand you two right now."

"Padfoot, there is a  
time and place for mud slinging.  
It's not during charms."

"Alas! Look what those  
idiots did to my shoes.  
Now they won't come off."

"James Potter: is he  
a genius? I would say no:  
he failed charms today."

"Wait, I see purpose  
for this hex now. This could get  
very amusing..."

"James, the more you moon  
after Lily, the more you  
look like a dingbat."

"A big black dog is  
only good for one thing in  
China. Vacation?"

"Biggest head, so large  
that it will not fit his hat.  
Or maybe it shrunk..."

"If you think I sound  
annoying, imagine how  
Flitwick will take it."

"Sirius Black is  
so lousy with the ladies  
that Marlene hexed him."

"Marlene was very  
merciful: she only made  
his long hair fall out."  
  
"You dare hex me twice?  
Once my feet become unstuck  
You are in for it."  
  
"Expelliarmus!  
Oh I'm sorry, was that yours?  
Oops! Not anymore!"  
  
"No, Sirius, I  
Will not give it back. You've lost  
your wand privileges."  
  
"No, you stupid dog.  
That face will do you no good.  
Lie in your made bed."  
  
"You think my haiku  
are annoying? How do you  
think I am coping?"  
  
"Alright, you got me.  
The Hex wore off last Tuesday.  
This is all me now."  
  
"What lesson is learned?  
make Remus speak in verse, and  
he will make you pay."  
  



End file.
